On his death bed
by mikesh
Summary: House's thoughts as he's dieing
1. Chapter 1

Title: On his death bed

Summary: House's thought of his life on his death bed

Author: Mikesh

Disclaimer: Do not own House wish I did but I don't

Part: 1 of 10

AN: Any years or dates I use are based off the episode The Honeymoon.

I sometimes wonder what life would have been like had we stayed together.

Would we have married? Had kids?

Would I have been the grumpy old man that needs a good whack upside the head? Like all of the doctors say.

If I could take it all back I would. I would never have driven you away after the accident.

As I lay here on my death bed waiting for my heart to stop beating I'm not scared. I welcome death because I know that I'll be with both of you once I'm in Heaven.

I know once I die my heart will stop hurting like it has been for the last fifteen years.

Please Review!

AN2: Originally this was supposed to be a one shot but it was going to be too long for that. So each chapter is a memory of House's life. It's a little different I know but hopefully you will like it.

AN3: the first part of each chapter is going to be house talking about what happened and then showing it. I know very strange but hopefully it'll work.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: On his death bed

Summary: House's thought before he dies

Author: Mikesh

Disclaimer: Do not own House wish I did but I don't

Part: 2 of 10

AN: Italic is house's thoughts

_When you died fifteen years ago I tried to join you but I didn't succeed like I wanted to._

House had just gotten home from a very long day of work. He had just turned on his TV when all of a sudden a news report came on. They were talking about a police chase that had happened earlier that night.

House wasn't really listening to what they were saying. He only caught bits and pieces about how the guy that hit a Toyota Camry was in critical condition at PPTH. House was making dinner when his cell phone rang.

"Hello," House said.

"House it's Wilson," Wilson said sounding upset.

"Hey what's up?" House asked.

"Have you seen the news tonight?" Wilson asked.

"Yeah bits and pieces. Why?" House asked.

"Did you hear what happened?" Wilson asked.

"If you're talking about the car accident yeah I heard about it," House said.

"I'm sorry House," Wilson said sounding sincere.

"Why?" House asked.

"You didn't hear that Stacy got killed?" Wilson asked.

"What are you talking about?" Greg asked not in the mood to play games.

"The guy that they put in the hospital is the one that hit Stacy and her husband. They were killed on the spot," Wilson said.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. Now what did you want?" House asked.

"I'm not joking House. Turn on the news," Wilson said.

"Fine I will. See you tomorrow," Greg said hanging up before Wilson could say anything else.

House went into the living room and turned up the TV so he could hear it. He was just about to go back into the kitchen when he heard them coming in with a new report.

"It's just in that the Toyota Camry that was hit tonight there weren't any survivors in it. Stacy and Mark Mcken were killed on the sight. We're very sorry for earlier reports that the man had survived. Again there were no survivors from the car," the reported said.

House just sat heavily in the chair. He couldn't believe that she was dead. The woman that he'd let go was gone forever.

_I was so mad at God because he took you and not me. I threw my cane through the window and then I started drinking until I passed out. The next morning when I woke up I thought that it was just a dream. Then I realized that it wasn't. Instead of getting up and facing it like a man I took the coward's way out. I took out my vicodin and swallowed the whole bottle. Shortly after that I passed out._

The next morning Cameron, Foreman, Wilson and Chase came into work to find that House wasn't there. They all knew of what had happened last night too. Wilson had called them to let them know. They all had puffy eyes and they all looked like shit.

"Hey did House take off today?" Foreman asked.

"No I talked to him last night. He hung up on me though," Wilson said.

"Then where is he?" Foreman asked.

"Shit!" Wilson said running out of House's office.

"Where are you going?" Cameron shouted after him.

"To his house," Wilson shouted back while still running.

"You don't think he would have tried to kill himself do you?" Chase shouted after him.

"I think it's likely because the only thing that he was living for was her. Now that she's gone he figures he might as well be gone too," Wilson said standing at the end of the hall.

"How do you know that," Chase asked looking at Wilson.

"Because he told me one night when we went drinking," Wilson said.

"When did you two go drinking?" Foreman asked.

"Yes it was when Mark was here and no of us thought he'd make it. House was hoping he wouldn't because then Stacy would come back to him," Wilson said taking off again.

"Come on," Cameron shouted and with that they too left House's office.

"Who's car do you want to take?" Foreman asked once they caught up with Wilson at the ambulance bay.

"I say we take that," Allison said pointing to the ambulance.

"Like they'll give us a ride," Chase said.

"Hey Allison," Rob said.

"Hey Rob can you give us a ride?" Cameron asked sweetly.

"Where to?" Rob asked giving Allison his best smile.

"House's place," Cameron said.

"Now why do you want to go to that cranky bastard's house?" Rob asked.

"Because I think he might have tried to kill himself," Cameron said.

"Why would he do that?" Rob asked not understanding.

"Because the only thing that he was living for was the girl that got killed last night. Now that she's gone he figures he might as well be gone too," Cameron said.

"Ok I'll do it for you," Rob said smiling at Cameron.

"Thank you," Cameron said smiling back.

"Get in guys!" Cameron ordered.

After everyone got in they headed over to Greg's house. Once they got to Greg's house they ran up to the door. They saw the broken window. When Foreman looked in and saw House laying on the floor he picked up the fallen cane and smashed the window. After he got in the others followed suite. He knew they didn't have time to use logical methods of getting in so that was the only way.

"He's not breathing!" Cameron shouted.

"Shit! He took all of his vicodin," Wilson said seeing the empty bottle laying next to Greg.

"He must have overdosed," Foreman said trying to start House's heart back up.

"Once I get his heart going we're going to have to get him to the hospital to pump his stomach," Foreman said

"Chase go get the stretcher so we can get him to the hospital," Wilson said.

"Ok," Chase said running out the door to go get the stretcher and oxygen tank.

By time he got back with Rob Foreman had finally gotten House's heart started again.

"Let's roll," Wilson said after they got House on the stretcher.

"Called ahead so they're expecting us," Dave the driver said.

"Good now let's roll," Wilson said after he got in.

"Wait where's Foreman?" Cameron asked.

"He stayed behind to close up the house," Wilson who was attaching House so they could see his vital signs said.

"Ok," Cameron said.

When they got to the hospital Cuddy and a couple of doctors were waiting for them.

"How is he doing?" Cuddy asked.

"His vitals are strong but we need to get him into the operating room so we can pump his stomach. He took all of his vicodin," Wilson said.

"Ok but you guys are not going to do it. Theses two are," Cuddy said pointing to the other two doctors.

"Why?" Cameron asked.

"Because you guys are too attached to this patient. It's best if it's someone who isn't attached to do it," Cuddy said.

"Fine," Cameron said knowing that she wasn't going to get her way with Cuddy.

By time Foreman got there with House's car House was already in the operating room.

"So how is he?" Foreman asked.

"They're just now pumping his stomach," Cameron said.

For the next hour and a half all the four of them could do is wait and see what would happen.

"How is he?" Cameron asked jumping from her chair when she saw Cuddy coming.

"He's stable for now but he's in a coma. I don't know if he'll ever come out of it. I'm sorry you guys," Cuddy said looking ready to cry herself.

"Can we see him?" Wilson asked.

"Not right now. Maybe later tonight. For now just go home and relax. I'll call you as soon as I hear anything," Cuddy said.

"Cuddy how do you expect us to do that when our boss is fighting for his life," Cameron said.

"I know it's not easy but you guys are not going to do him any good here wearing yourselves out," Cuddy said.

"Come on guys I'll take you back to my place," Wilson said.

"Ok," Cameron said not too happy to have to leave House on his own.

The four of them left to go try and rest up for a little bit.

None of them knew how tired they were but the next thing they knew they were waking up and it was two in the afternoon.

"Has anyone heard how House is," Cameron asked after she walked into the kitchen.

"Cuddy called about three minutes ago. Says he's the same nothing has changed so far. She says once we're up to it we can come over," Wilson said.

"Let's go," Cameron said.

Once they got there they headed straight to House's room. He was still sleeping which meant that they played the waiting game still with him.

Cameron stayed until she was thrown out by Cuddy. After she was thrown out Allison went back to House's office where she found Wilson sitting at the desk.

_When I woke up I pretty much had just enough time to see Wilson over by the machine for my heart rate then I was back in the land of darkness._

_I woke up a second time you were there by the bed asking me why I did it. And how could I leave the child. I didn't know what you were talking about and really didn't care at that point. I just wanted to hold onto you but before I knew it you were gone._

_The third time I woke up again there wasn't anyone in the room and it was dark outside. I was awake for five minutes at the most before I was back to sleep. _

_Now the fourth time I woke up it was light outside. That's when I realized for the first time that I had a tube down my throat. I tried to move my hands to try and pull the tube out but found that I was restrained to the bed. I started to pull at the strains but they wouldn't give so I stared to thrash on the bed. Well with all of the noise I was making and the heart monitor they had on me started spiking. It took about three minutes before Foremen, Wilson, Chase and Cameron came running into the room along with two other doctors and a nurse. Cameron and Foremen were trying to calm me down but I wouldn't calm down. One of the doctors that was in the room gave me a shot through my iv to try and calm me down. Once it had set in they removed my tube. I would have set in on the curse words but my throat was too horse to talk. It wasn't long after they removed the tube that I was back to dreamland. They had given me something to help me sleep. I didn't sleep well at all. All I kept seeing was the car crash that they showed on news. When I woke up Cameron was in the room with me. When I asked her why she was there she said she wanted to see how I was. I asked her how she'd be if she'd had a tube down her throat and being restrained to the bed. She was taken aback by it but I didn't care at that point. I told her to leave me alone and she did. _

_I know it wasn't Mark's fault that you died but I blamed him the whole time I was in the hospital._


	3. Chapter 3

Title: On his death bed

Summary: House's thought before he dies

Author: Mikesh

Disclaimer: Do not own House wish I did but I don't

Part: 3 of 10

_The day that I was suppose to get out of the hospital a social worker came and saw me. She told me that you had left behind a daughter who was about three years old. You had left a note saying that it was my child. They wanted to do a blood test to see if it was in fact mine. I told them to do what they wanted. I didn't know you had a child at that point but I figured that it was Mark's. You just wanted me to take care of it so you said it was mine_

_Two days after I got out of the hospital they came and saw me in my office. Told me that it was in fact my child but due to what I'd done recently they'd have to do a background check to see if I was capable of taking care of a child. Yeah I was real capable after just trying to kill myself._

_I don't know why or how but they found me fit to take care of our daughter._

It had been two days since the social worker had come to see House. He was just sitting in his office throwing his ball around when the same social worker came in with a little girl.

"Mr. House I'd like you to meet your daughter Mary Elizabeth House," the social worker said.

Mary was about three feet tall with brown eyes and dirty blond hair.

"Hi," House said getting up.

"I" Mary said.

"Mr. House if you do not feel fit to take care of her then we will be forced to find a home for her," the social worker said handing the girl's belongings over to him.

"No I think I can handle her," House said taking the backpack.

"Very good. Good day sir," the social worker said.

"Good day," House said not looking up from the little girl.

"So you're my daughter," House said.

Instead of replying the little girl just stared at House.

House decided that he'd better call a meeting so that he could introduce her to everyone since she probably would end up coming to work with him.

Everyone thought that she was the cutest thing in the world and couldn't' believe that she was related to House.

_I thought that I could handle taking care of a little girl. It wasn't the fact that she'd come wake me up in the middle of the night or the fact that she'd wake up screaming. I don't know what it was but after two days I realized that I couldn't do it anymore. So I asked Cameron and Chase to look after her._

Two days later while Cameron and Chase were still in the office House got up the nerve to ask them.

"Hey would you two mind keeping her for a couple of days?" House asked.

"Why?" Cameron asked.

"Because I figured that we'd share the parenting skills," House said sarcastically.

"House," Cameron said with that don't' give me the bullshit look.

"Because I need to get her room ready and I don't want her to see it," House said lying through his teeth.

"Ok sure," Cameron said without even asking her boyfriend/roommate.

The good part for House or what Cameron thought was good was they only lived a couple of blocks from him.

"Thanks," House said.

"Sure," Cameron said.

"Mary you're going to stay with these nice people for a couple of days," House said coming down to his daughter's eye level as best as he could.

"Ok," Mary said.

"Come on sweetie we'll go take you to get ice cream," Cameron said holding out her hand.

Mary came to her and took a hold of her hand. Then Cameron, Chase and Mary left House's office since it was quitting time after all.

House did feel bad but he figured that it'd be for the best for her.

_But it wasn't for the best for her. Cameron caught on Sunday that I wasn't really doing up a room for her. She came over with Mary but I didn't answer so she caught me Monday. She confronted me and I told her that I was it was just taking awhile for me to choose the color. She went with the lie because she could tell how hard it was for me. Two days later on Wednesday night I was sleeping when I heard a screeching of breaks. I didn't think anything of it. I was just about ready to go back to sleep when the phone rang._

"Hello," House said half asleep.

"House it's Allison," Allison said sounding upset.

"What do you want? It's midnight," House said looking at the clock by his bed.

"It's Mary," Allison said.

House could tell now that she was crying.

"What about her?" House asked sitting up in bed.

"S-Sh-She's bbbeen hi-hit byy a trucker," Allison said finally loosing it.

"What? How?" House yelled into the phone.

"She somehow got out of the house. I'm sorry," Allison said crying.

"Just stay there. I'll be there in five," House said jumping up from bed and rushing as fast as he could to get his keys and into his car.

He didn't even realize that he was only wearing his boxers and a tee-shirt.

"How is she?" House asked getting out of the car.

"They say she's stable but they're going to take her to the hospital," Allison said rushing up to House.

"We have to move out now. Who's going with her?" Rob asked.

"I am," House said going over to the ambulance and getting in.

"Let's go," Rob hollowered shutting the door behind House.

House wanted to ask what happened to her but he couldn't bring himself to do it. All he could do was look at his little girl and see how broken she looked. She had blood on her face and in her hair.

Once they got to the hospital Cuddy was waiting for him.

"House I'm sorry but you're not going to be able to go in while she's in surgery. You can watch from above if you want though," Cuddy said.

"Thanks," House said.

"Welcome," Cuddy said.

House went back over to Mary to talk to her before they took her into surgery.

"Mary I'll be watching over you while you're in there. I love you," House said leaning down to kiss her.

Mary would have replied but the meds they gave her for pain made her sleepy.

After they rolled her into surgery House went to watch while they did it. Chase and Cameron were already up there.

"I'm soooo sorry House," Allison said burring her head into House's chest.

"It's not your fault. I don't get how did she even get out?" House asked putting his arm around Allison.

"I don't know we had the door locked and she can't reach the dead bolt," Chase said.

"Was she sleep walking or something?" House asked.

"Before you got there she told me the reason that she left was her mommy wanted her," Cameron said.

"God this is all my fault," House said.

"No it's not. She could have done it even if she was at your house," Cameron said.

"That's the thing she should have been at my house. I'm her fucking father and I haven't been acting like it at all," House said angry with himself.

"House you just found out a week ago you had a child. No one expected you to catch on at the flick of a dime," Cameron said.

"No one may have expected it from me but I should have," House said.

"House she's young and strong little girl. She'll be fine," Cameron said finally getting her emotions under control.

"You don't know that. If I loose her I don't want to live. And I won't live," House said turning towards the window.

Cameron and Chase decided that they'd just watch the surgery because they could tell House meant what he said.

About halfway through the surgery they lost her.

"Come on damn it! Don't you die on me like your mother did," House said trying to control his anger.

Thankfully they got her heart started back up within a few minutes. It took them about two hours to do the surgery. Once they got her all patched up House waited for the doc to come speak with them.

"She's one lucky little girl. She had four broken ribs, a broken arm, broken leg. Also when the truck hit her she busted her skull open. Thankfully we were able to repair it. She'll have to be here for a couple of weeks but she should make a full recovery. She's a very lucky girl," The doctor said.

"Thank you," House said.

"Welcome," the doctor said leaving then to be in the hallway.

"I'm going to go see how she is. Why don't you two go home and rest up?" House asked.

"No I want to be here for her," Cameron said.

"Cameron come on you need to rest up. We'll come back in a couple of hours. Besides it's already three in the morning. We'll come check on her before we head to work," Chase said.

"That's another thing I don't want to see either of you at work today," House said.

"What?" Cameron asked.

"You can come see her but you need your rest. I know this had to have taken a lot out of you. So take the day to rest up," House said.

"Thank you," Cameron said hugging House.

"Welcome," House said hugging her back.

_After Cameron and Chase left I went to Mary's room. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew Cuddy was waking me up._

"House," Cuddy said shaking his shoulder.

"What?" House asked opening an eye.

"You may want to go get changed because her doctors are going to come check on her in a little bit," Cuddy said.

That's when House realized for the first time that he was only wearing his boxers.

"Thanks," House said going to get up but found his leg wouldn't let him.

"Here you go," Cuddy said handing him a bottle of vicodin.

"Thanks," House said taking it and getting a pill out.

"Welcome," Cuddy said leaving him alone.

"I'll be right back," House said getting up and giving Mary a kiss on the cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: On his death bed

Summary: House's thought before he dies

Author: Mikesh

Disclaimer: Do not own House wish I did but I don't

Part: 4 of 10

_After I showered I went back to her room and found the doctors in there. They told me that she was doing great and that they'd downed her meds so that hopefully she'd be waking up soon._

_Chase and Cameron came in around noon that day which is about the time she woke up. I was just happy that she was alright that I couldn't bring myself to punish her._

The Next morning…

House had stayed with Mary all night long.

"Ouse will you stay with me while I here?" Mary asked.

"You can call me dad if you want. And yes I will stay with you as long as you need me. I won't ever leave you again," House said.

"Thanx," Mary said.

"Welcome. Try to get some sleep," House said smiling at his daughter.

"Otay," Mary said.

Once House was sure Mary was asleep he went to his office to see how things were coming. He saw that they had no new cases so he went back to Mary.

_I stayed good to my word. Every morning when she woke up I was there with her. And every night before she went to bed my face was the last one she saw. We would watch cartoons and drink chocolate milk. She really seemed to enjoy having me with her. Chase, Cameron, Foreman, and Wilson came and saw her everyday. About two days before she was to leave the hospital I and Cameron went to my house to make up a room for her. Cameron helped me because I didn't really know what a little girl would like. We end up doing it up with barbes and stuffed animals. While we were there Chase and Wilson stayed with her. I was shocked later on to see that you had done her room that way too. For a couple of weeks after she came home she had to be in a wheelchair to let her leg heal._

_Everyday I took her to work and let her hang out with Chase or Wilson while I did clinic duty. Yes I actually took on more hours then I usually did because I made a promise to God that if he let her be alright then I'd do more work as a payment. So I kept my word to God._


	5. Chapter 5

Title: On his death bed

Summary: House's thought before he dies

Author: Mikesh

Disclaimer: Do not own House wish I did but I don't

Part: 5 of 10

_Over the years things went great. She grew up and went to school. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to send her to school. I still remember that day._

Cameron and chase were with House when he dropped off Mary for her first day of preschool. She's not the one that was nervous it was House.

"House it'll be alright. She'll only be gone for a couple of hours and then you will see her again," Cameron said.

"I know but I don't' want to leave her," House said watching Mary go running off to play with Jimmy who was a next door neighbor.

"Come on," Cameron said.

Once House was sure that Mary was going to be alright he finally left with them. He didn't get much done that day. He was quite happy when one o'clock came around because he got to go pick up Mary. Mary was just a ball of energy. She told House everything that they did that day and the new people she met.

_As the days went on it got easier for me to let her go at school. A year later when she was five years old Cameron and Chase got married. She served as flower girl. And I served as best man._

Today was the day that Robert Chase finally got to take Allison Cameron as his wife. To day that he wasn't nervous would be a lie. Chase was just happy that House was there with him otherwise he would have forgotten the rings.

Allison was also a little nervous but she wasn't nearly as nervous as her soon to be husband was. Mary was having fun because she was with her aunt and daddy's friends.

Allison had Cuddy and her best friend Sarah serving as bride maids. While Robert had House and Foreman as his best men. Since Allison's father wasn't alive Wilson was the one to walk her down the isle.

At the end of the day the wedding went on without something happening. Chase didn't even mess up his vowels which he was happy about. Mary was very good while the wedding was going on. She went and stood over by her father. Allison didn't mind because she knew that she'd want to do that.

_Then a year after that Allison and Robert welcomed a little boy into their lives. It was quite funny when Allison went into labor._

Allison was just getting to work when she felt something wet between her legs.

"What was that?" Robert asked.

"That was my water breaking," Allison said.

"What? What do we do?" Robert asked as they were getting into House's office.

"Take me to the birthing room," Allison said.

"What? Where's that?" Robert asked started to freak out.

"House! Get over here now!" Allison exclaimed.

"What?" House asked limping into his office.

"Can you take me upstairs because this baby is coming," Allison said through clinched teeth.

"Sure," House said and with that they went upstairs.

_Allison went through ten hours of labor. I had to be there the whole time because I had to work. Mary was so thrilled to have a little one around. She loved when I babysat for them. I could tell that she'd make a good mother someday. Little did I know at that time the one thing she wanted was the one thing she couldn't have._


	6. Chapter 6

Title: On his death bed

Summary: House's thought before he dies

Author: Mikesh

Disclaimer: Do not own House wish I did but I don't

Part: 6 of 10

_I still remember that day when she was eighteen years old. It was the night of prom. She went with Jimmy. I remember because I gave him the talk. I told him if he hurt her or didn't have her back by four o'five the next morning then he'd have me to deal with_

"Now Jimmy I want you to bring Mary home no later then five after four. Oh and if you hurt her in any way you'll have me to deal with," House said in a warning tone.

"Dad what are you doing?" Mary asked coming down the stairs.

"Nothing honey," House said turning towards his daughter.

By this point House hadn't seen her dress yet. Allison and she had went to go get it with House's money of course. Allison was the go to girl for Mary. If there was something that she didn't want to talk to her dad about she told Allison. Now depending on what it was Allison did tell House. Mary knew that he knew but she didn't care as long as he didn't bring it up and he usually didn't.

Mary's dress was a sky blue off the shoulders with a scarf around her arms. House thought that she was the prettiest thing in the world. He couldn't believe that his little girl had turned into a woman. He was having a hard time letting her go but he was starting to learn to slowly.

"Wow you look great," Jimmy said.

"Thanks," Mary said blushing.

"You look lovely," House said smiling at his daughter.

"Thanks dad," Mary said coming down the stairs the rest of the way.

"Ok picture time," House said limping over to the fireplace to grab the camera.

After House was done blinding them he let them leave but not before he sent a warring look to Jimmy. Later that night they came back to change before post prom. After they left they headed over to the high school where post prom was being held.

_About a month after prom Mary started getting a cold.._

"Mary what's wrong?" House asked seeing how pale his daughter was.

"Nothing I just must have the flu," Mary said.

"Are you sure?" House asked going over to her to check her head.

"Dad I said I'm fine," Mary said pulling back from him.

"Ok but if you get worse I will put you in the hospital," House said sternly.

"Yes I know dad," Mary said smiling at her dad.

"Have a good day," House said.

_She was sick for awhile but then a couple of days later she seemed to be getting better. Little did I know that she wasn't really getting better. She was actually getting worse._

_Little did I know life was about to change forever._


	7. Chapter 7

Title: On his death bed

Summary: House's thought before he dies

Author: Mikesh

Disclaimer: Do not own House wish I did but I don't

Part: 7 of 10

_It was the day after graduation when I went to wake her up she wouldn't wake. I knew she'd been out late because I'd heard her come in around two that morning. I figured that she just didn't want to wake. But after about five minutes I knew something was up._

"Come on Mary it's time to get up," House said shaking his daughter.

"Mary? Mary!" House shouted.

When Mary didn't respond House checked to make sure that his daughter was still living. When he felt her pulse he then turned her over to see that she was as white as a sheet. Instead of calling 911 he picked her up and took her to PPTH.

The drive over was hard for House. He wanted to speed but he knew that if he did then he'd have to explain that to a cop. That woiuld just take up more time then House wanted to. He did call ahead so that once he got there Cuddy was waiting for him.

"Put her on here," Cuddy said having a bed waiting for Mary.

"What happened?" Allison asked coming up to House.

"I don't know. She wouldn't wake up when I tried," Hosue said.

"Has she taken anything?" Allison asked.

"Not that I know of. The last time I talked to her was when I said good-bye before she went out. God what is wrong with her?" House asked.

"I don't know but it's probably nothing," Allison said.

_But it wasn't not nothing. It didn't seem that anything we gave her would work. I was at my wits ends when I finally did the one thing I should never have done. I looked into her diary._


	8. Chapter 8

Title: On his death bed

Summary: House's thought before he dies

Author: Mikesh

Disclaimer: Do not own House wish I did but I don't

Part: 8 of 10

_I was at wit's end when I realized the only other place I could get information from was Mary's diary. I know it was wrong for me to do but I want to find out what was wrong with her. I talked to Allison and she said that she didn't know. I knew that she didn't because she wouldn't lie to me about something like that. Little did I know that I would actually find the answer I was looking for._

House had just gotten back to the house and up to Mary's room. Yes he knew where she kept her diary because he'd found it when he'd cleaned her room. He couldn't look in it even if he wanted to because she had the key for it. When he'd been looking at her keychain he'd saw that the key was on it. So here he was breaking into his daughter's diary.

'Here it is,' House thought to himself.

May 25th, 2019

Today I found out that I was pregnant with Jimmy's baby. I was scared at first because I was afraid of what dad will do if he ever finds out. I know that Allison knows something's up. I mean you can't be the mother of three and not know when someone else is pregnant. I don't know what I'll do. I can't very well tell dad. He'll first kill Jimmy and then kill me for getting pregnant at 18.

May 27th, 2019

I talked to Jimmy today. He says that he'll support me in whatever I decide to do. I don't' want to get rid of the baby but I also don't want my father to look down at me. I'm soo confused.

June 1st, 2019

Today I found out I have a rare condition that affects me and the baby. What it does is causes high blood pressure. It can kill me if I go through with the pregnancy. I don't want to die but I can't kill my child. Dad still doesn't know. I'm going to have to tell him soon but if he finds out about this then he'll make me get rid of the baby. That's why tomorrow I'm going to go see Jimmy's dad since he's a lawyer. I'm going to have it set up that if I should go into a coma while pregnant then Allison has the right to decide what to do. Dad will get rid of the baby because he can't watch me die. But I can't sit around the rest of my life knowing that I killed my child. Dad won't be happy when he realizes that he'll have to watch me die and watch out for his grandchild. I love him with all of my heart but I don't want to kill my child.

_I went to the hospital and found that she had put Allison in charge of her care. I tried to get that over turned but I couldn't because she was of legal age. I gave her meds to make her wake up. Then I tried to talk her out of it but she wouldn't budge._

"Mary why do you want to die? You can adopt kids or find a sergeant mother to carry a child for you. You know there's meds we can give you before you get pregnant to try and help," House said.

"But that still means that I have to let you kill my child. I can't just sit around and let my child die," Mary said putting her hands on her stomach.

"And I can't just sit around and let my baby die. You're just taking the coward's way out," House said.

"Dad please don't make this any harder then it has to be. I've had a chance to live. Don't deny this child that right," Mary said upset with her father. She knew he'd say that she was taking the coward's way out but she felt her child had the right to live.

"You haven't lived. You're 18 years old. When you hit my age come talk to me about living," House said going out of the room with tears in his eyes.

_I was pissed that she wanted to leave me the way you left me. I never forgave her but I was there for her. I was there the day she slipped into a coma for the last time. They tried to pull her out but she was gone by then. The baby went with her. First I blamed God for taking her. Then I blamed Jimmy because it was his fault that she was pregnant. Last I blamed myself for not just doing the abortion. I wish that I had. Yeah I would have went to jail but I would still have my daughter with me._

_I don't even remember her funeral. All I remember is everyone coming up to me and saying how sorry they were. I ended up decking one of the people there. And I spent the night in jail for it. I didn't care. At that point I just wanted life to end. That's why I did what I did._


	9. Chapter 9

Title: On his death bed

Summary: House's thought before he dies

Author: Mikesh

Disclaimer: Do not own House wish I did but I don't

Part: 9 of 10

Two days after Mary's funeral House got onto his motor cycle that he'd bought a year after Mary had come to live with him. House knew what he was doing when he ran into a brick wall head on.

_I was in a coma for three weeks after that. When I woke up Allison was looking over me looking pissed. She said that I was taking the coward's way out. So what if I was? I didn't want to be in this world anymore. Unlucky for me I made a full recovery and was released a week after waking up. It's funny I figured that I'd end up dying from that but I didn't. What's going to kill me is the same thing that killed my daughter. It seems that I have the same blood disease that she did. But unlike her there's not a cure for me. I found out a month after I tried to end my life. Allison noticed something was wrong with me because of how pale I was. I just shrugged it off as nothing but then a week later I realized something was wrong. I could hardly move let alone walk. So I went into work somehow and drew my own blood. I had Allison test it for me._

"House," Allison said coming into his office.

"Yeah?" House asked.

"I have the results," Allison said.

"So what does it say?" House asked.

"You have the same blood disease as Mary had but there's no cure for yours," Allison said.

"Thank you," House said.

"Yeah," Allison said.

House could tell that she was ready to cry but he didn't care. He was just happy that he'd finally be able to join them.

_One month later I found myself hospital ridden. I wanted to be home in my own bed when I died but Allison, Foreman, Robert and Wilson wouldn't let me. Finally about two months after Mary's death Allison decided that they'd let me die at home. That was three weeks ago today. I can tell that I'm going to be joining you two by the end of tonight. I'm sad to go in a way because I'll be leaving Robert and Allison's kids in pain but I'm happy because I can finally stop hurting. Allison told me I was a coward for giving up on life. I told her try having the two people you love most in your life gone and then to get back to me. She told me she'd lost me. I knew she liked me but she had Robert so she didn't need me._


	10. Chapter 10

Title: On his death bed

Summary: House's thought before he dies

Author: Mikesh

Disclaimer: Do not own House wish I did but I don't

Part: 10 of 10

_I can see you and Mary now. I know it's only a matter of minutes. I don't feel anything anymore so I know that I am gone. I make sure by looking back down at my body. I see myself looking like I'm just laying there. Allison and Robert will find me tonight when they come to check on me._

Later that night…

Allison and Robert had just found House's cold dead body. Allison knew that his death was coming but still she couldn't stop the tears from coming. She was hoping that House would somehow come out of it but she knew that he wouldn't. It still hurt because she loved him so much. But now she loved him like a father.

"We have to make arrangements," Allison said through her tears.

"No we don't. House already took care of all that. He left us everything. He told me to just throw his body in the river and move on with life," Robert said smiling through his tears.

They didn't know how they were going to tell the kids that he was dead. The only one that wouldn't understand was Timmy who was four years old. The other two knew that House was dieing but they never expected him to.

_As I stand here watching my funeral with you two I'm sadden by the pain I left them in but I'm happy to be with both of you. Mary you look great all big with your child. Stacy you too look great. You haven't aged a day since I last saw you._

_I love both of you and now I can be with you._

_After the funeral I look down to see what they put on my grave stone._

_It reads:_

_Here lies Gregory William House_

_March 12th, 1957 – September 25th, 2019_

_Loving father and doctor_

_May you rest in peace now with them_

_We love you and miss you_

_Take care_

The End


End file.
